and before you go any further, just know i tend to be vague for the sake of confidetiality. actually don't even bother reading. this just helps me sort out my mind. it's probably not even going to make sense. yes. i'm well aware that i'll only be getting 5 and a half hours of sleep tonight. why? because i took a nap and ate a popsicle half an hour ago.

my parents are saying i'm spending too much time with kimmy. they also say that i have no friends anymore because i'm spending all my time with her. do they seriously think that people will stop being friends with you over that? i know my friends won't. i don't even hang out with her that much. nowadays it's just on the weekends. and fridays, too. so my parents think that during the week i sit by myself and not talk to anyone? righttt. i hang out with people in the student union for hourss. i think the reason that they brought this up is because i just started telling them who i actually hang out with. before, i would tell them that i was out with my swim friends, and only tell them i was with kimmy once or twice. now i tell them that i'm actually with kimmy. and they bring this up. i'm not telling them anymore.

believe me, last week was horrible. she got mad at me on sunday and i was MISERABLE. i was a wreck. i guess i'm always late for everything we do together. and it's not even my fault. whenever i'm about to go out of the house, my mom ALWAYS tells me something i HAVE to do before i leave. and it always makes me late. and that bothered her. and she got mad. sighh i can't sleep knowing that she's mad at me. and even though she tells me to leave her alone, i can't. i feel like i have to make it right. i can't just not talk to her.

and then i find out later in the week that ________________ and i start worrying like crazyyy because it's all my fault.

on friday i went over to her house because i missed her sooo much and she wasn't feeling very well. i was also SUPER relieved that nothing was going to happen. i went from being miserable to very worried to relieved in a few days. emotional rollercoaster again.

kimmy and i went on our second 'date' on saturday. hahah. our first one was at Soka university. we had a picnic there. on saturday, she came over to my house and helped me recycle. well, she didn't help at all. she just stood there. then we went to Kabuki and had SO much food. and i fianlly had tempura ice ream. SOO GOOD. afterwards we went to this tennis tournament and helped out. then i worked at 6.

today we went to the swap meet, then went back to the tournament to help out. i seriously do not get bored when she's with me. =] it's awesome. i'm also excited because i'm going to homecoming with her! yay! we're going shopping next weekend. our third date is on friday, too =]

i also debating in my head what i should do. on one hand, i'll know for sure that she'll be there after i'm done. on the other, what happens if either of us doesn't feel the same after all those years? hmmm..i think i will..

congrats. you made it this far. "confetti and balloons fall from the ceiling*

university 100 is over finallyy. i had an okay teacher. he gave a lot of homework, though. it was such a stupid class, i already knew everything that  they were discussingg. what a waste of time. we had to write a couple of essays, write an annotated bibliography, and take notes during class and at home when we read our book thing. ugh it sucked. i never take notes. and what makes it worse is that this one annoying girl that sat in front of me put her number in my phone. like, she took my phone and entered it in there and put it back. creepy? yes. i'm almost certain she's attracted to me. eww. i hope i never see her again. but with my luck, i'll have a class with her. sighh

anyway, i've spent the last week with kimmy. well, for the most part. i spent the last day of her summer with her. =] it was nice. and wayyy funn hahah. ohh the things we do! haha that was tuesday. wednesday, we ate at macaroni grill for lunch. so basically, everyone at work knows we're together. i guess it's fine; i don't get teased or anything. not that i'd mind. thursday, i hung out with her during 5th period and her tennis clearance thing. she seriously could not stop laughing that day. it was SO weird. afterwards, we went to Rite Aid with jackie and got some ice cream. haha my friend alex was there and he scooped it for us. he didn't give us a discount, though. darnnn.

i didn't get to see her today. that made me sadd. we had also been talking about this night because this weekend was supposed to be the weekend that her parents would be gone. i had it all planned out that i'd sneak over to her house and have my first sever sleepover there. i find out wednesday that her mom's staying behind. that bummed me outttt. i was excited for a month. i waited patiently. and her mom decides to stay behind. that's usually how my luck goes anyway, oh well. tomorrow i think we're going to Soka university and having a picnic there =]

i seriously love being with her.if i wanted to guarantee that i'd have fun somewhere, i'd take her with me. we ALWAYS have fun, no matter what we do. whether we're on a double date and mini golfing, or  biking to the beach, or just sitting at a park and just talking. it really makes my day when i can just spend even an hour with her. even talking online is better than nothing. and i'm always so sad when i can't go out and be with her. i don't know how i'm going to survive next year if she moves up north for college..

but my gut feeling is pretty strong now. =] i'm becoming more and more confident about her..